My current state

I just ate a snickers bar, you know a full sized one – not a leftover halloween mini, that I had to stand on my tippy toes to pull down from the top shelf of the pantry. I then broke my feet and my shoulder again to reach a bottled coke, stored in the back of a costco box on top of the freezer in the garage. I froze the liquid delight for too long and opened it to find myself repeatedly slurping the rim as it sat like a fiesty volcano on my kitchen island. Of course a little bit leaked over the side, which just made anyone who knows me a bit cringe for my sake and also know that my next move was for a napkin to wrap around the perimeter of the liquid delight bottle. Moments later I became Joey, if you know him you know what I mean, and rebuked Jason as he put the bottle to his lips and insisted he pull away from it. This was less than thirty minutes after writing a blog on the topic “romance” for my writing group. Somewhere in there I wrote about selflessness being romantic. Hmm. With Jason upstairs now, the room is quiet, except for an occasional chug. I haven’t yet stored the puzzle pieces back in the ziplock bags or picked up the wipes that always find themselves drying outside of the package. Socks are a room away from their pair and a dirty diaper lies where it was air bombed from the other side of the room hours ago. “Melmo” and “Mammy” lay peacefully and awkwardly on the floor. A dustbuster is conveniently sitting on the chair and all four remotes have been misplaced. And exercise ball is apparently part of my fall decor on one of our living room tables because it’s been sitting there so long that the layer of dust collected over weeks has fallen around it. My knees feel tight sitting here and I straighten my legs every once in a while. It reminds me of hospital bedrest and I think of my friend. I am wondering when the dittle bug in my belly is going to wake up from this sugar rush and give me something to get distracted by. I felt him for the first time nine days ago now. Jason got a text from me while in a meeting. I like it when I lay flat and can see the shape of my uterus forming. When I stand up all my belly just rounds over it and I can’t tell what is left over twin babies, what is me and what is the new baby. I’m sitting on my living room couch, purple blanket my mom gave us for our wedding gift tucked all around me, particularly tight over my feet. My toes curl over each other and are frozen there, staying warm. And this belly is tucked right at the edge of the computer. I just had my first tired moment of the night. I yawn and realize that it is exactly 10pm. I would laugh if I weren’t tired. I am amused in my head though. I do a lot of my living from in there, in my head, Jason always reminds me. I’m realizing what an introvert I am. My cold white bedsheets are starting to appeal to me, though walking from here to there makes me want to take a nap here for a while. I’d have to gather the half of my clothing I’ve already removed, turn off lights and waddle upstairs. Another swig of my coke goes down. I’ve only had half. Just had an instant of guilt for not giving my love that sip – I never finish anything I drink. Ten o three. Not lasting much longer here. Ni Ni.