Like a Dance

I read a post recently by Wendy Alsup (the link for Practical Theology for Women on my list to the right). She was talking about what to do when her children were having trouble obeying and she finally realized that she could literally help them obey when they had no idea how to even begin how to do that on their own.

I related as a parent but I instantly also related as God’s child. I have the most difficult time obeying God sometimes. It feels like a literal impossibility! Ask me to open the door for an elderly person and I’m on it. Ask me to be kind when the other party isn’t treating me perfectly, and I’m dragging my feet like weights. I literally need God’s help to obey! He moves our hands and feet and mouths towards obedience when we cannot. I have to believe he can do that. That he can cause me to do what I simply cannot without the will and determination and pure heart of the Holy Spirit. In the moment of my aggression or fleshly tendencies I need to believe. Cast my faith on him. On his stronger arms. His stronger will. Psalm 51:12 says “Restore to me the joy of your salvation AND UPHOLD ME with a WILLING spirit.”

When Jason and I got married a great friend of mine gave us dance lessons so we could learn something more than a slow dance sway at our reception. It was a little daunting but also well worth it to have a choreographed routine. But throughout the lessons Jason teased that I was hard to lead. I was too tense or wanting to be the decision maker for what move was next or trying to give him cues. I needed to be a little looser with my limbs and more willing to wait for what cues he set forth so I would know what we were doing next.

Geez, it couldn’t be a more perfect word picture for my problem with obedience. I’m tense with what I am determined to do and I’m not leaning on the Holy Spirit and I’m certainly not waiting for any leadings besides my initial promptings. If you put a tag line on my behaviors, unfortunately it might look like “follow your heart” more often than “follow the Holy Spirit.” Yikes. Because Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things; and desperately sick.” Uh oh! Doesn’t seem like a good compass to follow.

After pondering that wise post on how Christ can help me obey, I was continuing to read Ephesians in my time in the Word and it gave such great instruction but again it all felt so out of reach so I began to read it more as a prayer for his help. Reading and praying Scripture this way gives me hope, increases my faith in what Christ can do in me and helps me to ease into this dance with the Lord, which he leads. Here is how I prayed:

Ephesians 4:22-32 selections

Jesus HELP ME put off my old self.
Jesus HELP ME to be made new in the attitude of my mind.
Jesus HELP ME put on the new self.
Jesus HELP ME believe that this new self was created like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Jesus HELP ME to only let come out of my mouth what will build others up.
Jesus HELP ME to know my family’s needs so that what I say to them will benefit them.
Jesus HELP ME to not grieve the Holy Spirit by sinning.
Jesus HELP ME to get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, and all malice.
Jesus HELP ME to be kind and compassionate to my family, forgiving them just as you forgave me.

I had lunch with a dear friend yesterday. I’ve known her since I was fifteen, which is really sweet to my heart. She made me a homemade Christmas card and on the inside, in a handwriting I would recognize from a thousand different people’s scribbles, she wrote Zephaniah 3:17 from her Bible’s translation which said, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior.” I cannot think of a better word of encouragement to my fragile heart as I contemplate my heart’s deepest, most true desire to live the life worthy of the calling I have received, but feeling the vast impossibility of it without the HELP of Christ all at once. I must allow my spirit to be encouraged:

THE LORD YOUR GOD IS IN YOUR MIDST. HE IS A VICTORIOUS WARRIOR.

Amen.