Traditions not to stumble on

I love feeling Christmasy. I know it’s not a word. Yep, there goes Microsoft Word’s red squiggly line beneath it, reminding me I need to fix my spelling. Really it IS the most wonderful time of the year. The smells are glorious. The pictures from families and friends on my fridge make me feel all happy. The music is lovely (although I am glad this aspect is not all year long). Having the nativity out is a constant reminder of exactly Who I want to always have on my mind. I just love Christmas and more and more my heart has been growing around the passion that I want to create traditions for our little family that point to the beliefs that we hold, treasured in our hearts about Jesus Christ and his coming into our lives.

When we first got married we bought a Christmas tree about two feet high. I’ve got my fingers crossed I can dig through and find the photo of us next to us and I can post it right here. We didn’t do much those first two or three years besides show up for our families’ Christmas get-togethers for whatever they had planned for us to do. It took us a good chunk of time to realize that traditions are not just things you fall into or show up for, but that traditions are expressions and celebrations of what you hold close to your heart that you repeat year after year.

I think sometimes at first I fell into other people’s traditions wanting to replicate what looked like good things to do. Nothing in particular is wrong with this because there are so many godly people paving the way for how to have godly traditions around Christmas (please read Traditions by Noel Piper), though a lot of times for me the root issue was either competition or laziness (not listening to what the Lord wants us to do but instead just replicating others’ habits). I found that it was important to find out how others are “building their houses”, in other words how the Lord has instructed them to celebrate Christ. And it was also important to take those ideas, and instead of trying to replicate all of them right away, to then pray about how Jesus would use our family, with our particular community and personalities and giftings to glorify him. In this way, the laziness and competition can be rooted out.

Pastor Mark Driscoll was preaching on Sunday about John the Baptizer. Many people came down to the Jordan river to add one more “tradition” to their religion so that it could be added to their holiness. John called them a “brood of vipors” because they were being baptized, not as a display of what Christ had done in their hearts, but as a display of one more holy thing they had done to make themselves look exceptionally religious. This was a disgust to John.

My wheels were spinning in my head about homemakers and stay at home moms and wives and women and general. We compare. A LOT. We see what other women are doing and if it makes them look good or right or accomplished, we either praise what they did and want to compete by doing the same or else we despise them in our hearts.

I was thinking of this in regard to Christmas traditions. I originally was just going to write a little blog post about how we formed our traditions over our eight years and then list our traditions we currently like to celebrate. And then I got this thought in my mind during the sermon that many women are tempted to turn their traditions into religious “credits.” Just like Mark said as he stood in the Jordan river, there is a tendency to let religion creep in to what is a good act in and of itself. But add the heart to the matter and then there is the possibility for religiosity and not for it ALL to point to Jesus and what he has done.

Here’s the big point in case I am rambling: I DO NOT mean for this to cause any other woman, wife, mom, whoever, to stumble. As women, whether in person or on blogs or through watching each other’s lives, we share what Christ is doing in us and what we are doing in response with the purpose of encouraging each other and displaying the glories of Christ. Period. And in all of that, we MUST be careful to not cause others to stumble by taking any glory or by putting on display a false sense of our own greatness. I am guilty of this in times of weakness. But because of Christ, we are able to REJOICE in the evidences of God’s grace in other women’s lives and ENJOY the works of their hands, which are meant to bring glory to Jesus, not themselves. And personally, I GET to glory in Christ by saying, “Look! Christ has changed my heart! And this is how we GET to celebrate him as a family! I am blessed indeed.”

So, with that word from my heart to yours, here are some of our traditions, some simple and some more involved:

Christmas dates. Jason always takes me, Kanah and Grace on separate dates. We all get a new dress and we all have A BLAST. For the girls, part of their dates are to go pick out a children’s Christmas book. The purpose for Jason is many fold but certainly to show Christ's love to the ladies in his life and to show Kanah and Grace specifically how a man should love them.

Advent. I am 31 and have been married 8 years and I have never understood or celebrated advent until about three weeks ago. Call me clueless. It’s a mystery but it’s true. Anyway after reading Noel Piper’s book I learned that Advent simply means “coming” and it signifies the days prior to Christmas, which was the coming of Christ into our world. We look back, at the prophesies pointing to his coming, we look to the present and how he has come into our lives, and to the future when he will come again. We do this the five Sundays prior to Christmas, one of which we did an Advent dinner party with friends.

Family dinner and ornament shopping. Each child gets to choose one ornament each year with hopes that I can box them up one day to give them for their own family tree.

Christmas letter and picture. Usually Jason writes a letter to our friends and family to tell them what we are thankful for that year and some of our family happenings. We usually write something that has struck us anew about Christmas that year or something the Lord has put on our hearts to share with believing and non-believing friends and family alike. Also, this is the only one I completely hassle other wives into doing. You have got to "make the fridge"!!

Treat bags to neighbors. The girls help me make and put together treat bags for the neighbors and then we load up the stroller to go deliver them and say merry Christmas! Truthfully I am not the best at loving my neighbors. I am hoping to grow in my love for them and to be more about missional community.

Kids’ Christmas Craft Party! The girls have become so interested in doing activities at home, particularly crafts, and so it was easy to realize that having their friends over to share this fun with around Christmas would be the best! So we did it and I think everyone had a great time. My mom read all the kids two Christmas stories and we had a few crafts to choose from and each mom brought a plate of treats to put in the dining room so that the mom/child could make baggies for neighbors or teachers or the homeless or whoever.

Homeless Bags. It has been difficult to figure out how to get OUT of my house to serve with my difficult pregnancies as well as these days with three little ones under the age of three. It seems like it has been light years since my days of showing up to do this or that for the community. However, slowly with grace, I feel like the Lord has shown me little ways to stay missional with the poor and the community. So this year he impressed on my heart to put treats, socks, $5 McDonalds cards, and a card with 2 Corinithians 8:9 written in it. We finished them so we’re going to keep in them in our car and if we see someone, I can give it to them. *I’d like to say to other moms that with precious little ones in my car, whom have been entrusted to my watchful care, I am not intentional driving into areas that would put them into danger. I am waiting and watchful to see who the Lord puts across our paths, even if it takes weeks of errands to give them all away.

Kids nativities. We bought the girls a nativity for each of them that are kid friendly and that they can act out Christmas with. They have been their favorite toys lately.

Ladies Craft Night. Sometime prior to Christmas, I try to do a soup dinner and craft night for some ladies in my life. This year I invited the women from my community group but next year I’d like to open it up again to all women from walks of life so that I can use this for missional living to display Christ. Most women make something around Christmas, at least Christmas cards, so it’s a way to do it together and further community.

The POOR. Remembering the poor at Christmas and throughout the year sometimes seems like the most daunting choice. There are so many needs. This is why we have to listen to the One who sees all. Psalm 68:19 says, “Praise be to God, who daily bears our burdens.” If God bears all the burdens and needs, then certainly he knows best how to take care of all of them, by using the body of Christ, if we will only pay attention to how he places these burdens in front of our eyes and on our hearts. That’s a beautiful thing. This year we continue to be loving on our foster girl in Spokane. And we joined in with our community group’s desire to care for a local family through the Food Bank.

Yearly Scrapbooks. One beautiful gift of Christmas I’d like to start incorporating this time of year is a family book from the year to give glory to God for who we have become individually and as a family. Psalm 78 says, “Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but TELL TO THE COMING GENERATION the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done…(vs 6) THAT the coming generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God…”

Little mentionables...tree cutting, tree decorating, Christmas eve service, Jason and Kelly Christmas wrapping on the eve to a movie, helping kids shop for each other, etc. (More to come on a future blog about the things we don't celebrate...)

Lord may we be faithful to honor you this season, not puffing ourselves up with “goodness” or reputation or religiosity. I know my heart Lord. It is true that it is deceitful beyond all cure besides your touch. Lord, let your name and YOUR RENOWN be the desire of our hearts this beautiful Christmas season. We love you and hope with all sincerity that many will SEE you this season and glorify you with their mouths and hearts and ways. Thank you for coming Lord. It is actually amazing you did that.