New Mercies

Lately God is showing me that He is Good. I tend to see the names of God that reflect how I view people and life and Good usually isn’t on the list. But this season seems to be about one of what I maybe would have described as his softer virtues, yet I cannot live without it and feel myself embracing goodness anew.

I am in a writing group with six other ladies and recently posted a piece on the truth that I exist in the midst of a heap of broken relationships. No one in my life can escape my brokenness. And no one in my life can escape from their own brokenness. And therefore, none of us can experience relationships of any kind apart from a broken state. And especially when we are asleep to it and are daydreaming about the sincerity of our false goodness to one another. Even the “good” relationships we have have constant struggles and obstacles and disappointments. Looking at people in my life, it’s like I saw one side of the pancake burning and then when I finally flipped it and saw my side, it was burnt too. I was also rotten to everyone. It was both sides of my relationships. And let me tell you what an exhausting moment of realization that was.

But simultaneously the piece was about the genuineness of God and the greatness of his goodness towards us. I didn’t write it to be depressing. I said it to keep my confessions true. Because no one is good to us like Jesus. And I am good to no one like Jesus. And the rest of our goodness is just broken glass reflections of his grace trying to shine through us.

So his genuine, persistent, loving goodness means everything to me while I navigate the brokenness in myself and all of my relationships in my life. After I left the week I was in when I wrote that overwhelming piece, the theme kept following me and haunting me some. You can’t realize something like that and move on, because it’s a theme that touches every conversation, phonecall, word, visit or lack of them.

And again God was good. As my mind was wrestling over this, a particular verse kept being mulled over in my mind. He kept whispering to me, “My mercies are new each morning.” It stayed in my mind over days and days and then just yesterday I glanced up to the paper Jason had posted on our bathroom mirror and smiled. It was the whole section of Scripture around that verse. “Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

God made us to take only so much for one day and then he makes us to go down and rest. Sleep is a gift of grace from Him that he designed our bodies for. I saw that Him designing my life to be broken up into what we call “days” is one of his beautiful mercies to us! If we really were able, and allowed ourselves, to see the brokenness of this world and of our days, it would be to much to bear if we never rested from that. If all our “days” were strung together in a constant awakened state and the burdens never were fresh to address on a new day, but instead went on and on.

But His mercies are new every morning.

Each night I get to sleep and rest from the weariness of life, whatever it may have been that day. Maybe one day it was just a long, but normal day, of diapers and cooking. Maybe another day it was a number of loaded conversations that worried my heart. Maybe another day it was dealing with a lack of intimacy with people and feeling alone. Or another just working through the same issues in the same relationships. And at the end of those days I get to lay down and close my eyes and rest. That is the design God made for me. And I see it as a gift of goodness to me!

And when I awake, his mercies are new. 2 Peter 1 says His divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness. Ephesians says that I have been given every spiritual blessing in Christ. This means that whether I need grace that day or the ability to be kind or to be patient or whether I need God’s love in the midst of my hurt or whatever it is, I have it because those are benefits of knowing Christ. His mercies are available to me every single morning. It’s not just sleep that is a gift, it is the mercy that comes as I wake up to a new day.

When I became a Christian, God did not rescue me from my trials. These are the days we’ve been given. But he did bestow upon me access to Himself and with God come the benefits of who He is and what He has done for us. With his mercies in my hand, I find forgiveness for my brokenness and I can accept it for myself. With his mercies, I can forgive others for their brokenness towards me. And I can anticipate that my brokenness and their brokenness to come will be addressed by God’s same mercies and he can redeem and restore all things. These are my mercies I can rely on each morning. And with my mornings to start again and with His mercies held tightly in my hands, I know that this outlook is in fact not depressing, but it is hopeful and it has created in me a grateful heart to a God who is genuine and ever GOOD towards me.

Thank you for this morning Lord. Carry me today with your mercies until I lie my head down again tonight.

1 Timothy 1:15-17 “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”