Sweet Tea

With only a week left ahead of me before my baby boy arrives, I decided that I needed to get me and the girls out of the house even though I had a severely aching back, a heavy belly and not much energy. Being in the house all day, without visitors, felt like it would be more brutal.

The girls and I headed out to North Bend outlets. It's the little things when you've got baby girls with you that make a little outting. I decided that we'd have a little lunch out there and then head to gymboree, my favorite kids' store. I would go through the mcdonalds drive through and then herd us into "sawdust" and get a wrap of some sort while we sat in the cozy couch corner.

As I took a right into McDonalds a huge sign faced me: Large Brewed Sweet Tea $1. Let's read it again: Large brewed SWEET tea $1. SWEET TEA!!! This is a terrible southern weakness of mine and it has been somewhat of a unconsented detox to move out west and never have the option of sweet tea at restaurants of any kind. But here it is in the Northwest! And this on the back of learning just last week that there is a CHICK-FIL-A only an hour and a half from here! (It's only the very best chicken sandwich, waffle fry and lemonade anywhere ever - #1 combo baby.)

Maybe these are little blessings lately from the Lord (is that silly to say??) because I have had a couple of small breakdowns lately. They revolve around two things. One...I have been crazy blessed, in what you can only say is divine, to have a handful of my North Carolina friends move out west - and not just anywhere west - but the state of Washington west. (Laurel, Jocelyn, Tanya, Carrie, Kalle, Jessi, Elizabeth). And I really don't have any friends outside of here or North Carolina. Just those two states. Yes, God thing. It's a strange unexpected blessing. BUT now three of them have already moved away (Tanya, Carrie, Elizabeth) and two more plan to leave soon (Kalle and Jessi). And now I am feeling like they are all going to move away at some point and this leaves me quite sad :(.

The other reason sweet tea and chick-fil-a have been a small comfort ;) is because with the new baby on the way of course you wish everyone you love could be close and involved and very present whenever they want to be in the joys in your life. We don't return to North Carolina until September b/c of our crazy lives and we won't have been there in a whole year.

So my heart just has these little breakdowns occasionally when it all seems to much to bear. Jason has been genuinely sweet and compassionate. Both of us know that these little emotional tantrums can't be our guide for where to live and move and have our being. I know in my heart of hearts that the Lord calls us places. And we must always be open to where that may be, whether we are in easy contentment or chosen contentment and even in the missing. I know I will always be "in missing" because my love is great for where I grew up and the people who live there. That will not lessen but what I do with the missing is crucial. It can devastate or be a healthy love but not an idol. I have to trust calling the most. I can only do this by grace!

Grace...and maybe a little sweet tea and combo #1. :)