I am the Lord's servant

So I'm in Luke. The book of Luke in the Bible, that is. I realized as soon as I wrote "I'm in Luke" that that is such a Christian thing to say but sounds so normal unless you have no idea what the Bible is all about. Anyhow, I just got going and it seems every time I am reading there's a one liner that sidetracks me for like seven days. So I'll tell you about two of them and they are both about the ever popular Ms Mary, who I have really become a big fan this week.

I have to tell you, quickly, how I generally have felt about Jesus' mother Mary up until now. She was a teen virgin from a small town with not a lot going on until this crazy important job of being pregnant with God was given to her. I have always respected her and admired her response to this overwelming responsibility but I also have kind of kept my distance from her. It annoys me big time how the church freaks out over her. All the statues and paintings and hail marys, yada yada. I think if she were here today she'd kind of be embarrassed actually. There is a church near my house called Mary Queen of Peace. I don't get it. One time I stopped a church in Florida called Mary Queen of the Universe just to go in and see how wacky it was. It totally baffles me how a story that is so awe-inspiring about how Jesus who was GOD decided to humble himself from all of his glory on a throne and become a man - even more, a baby - so that he could live among us, give his life away, and then die undeservingly to give us a way back into reconciled relationship with him -- how, that story then got twisted to become about Mary being God's mom who has special powers is DISTORTED and actually more directly, Satanic. Okay. Slight tangent. Big picture: I think in being so annoyed with Christians who are strangely all about Mary, I have avoided paying much attention to her at all.

All that said, here are two amazing revelations I got while studying Luke's story of Mary...

When Mary found out that she was chosen for the honor that no one else in human history would ever be charged with - being the mother of Jesus, who was God - she responded ultimately with a line that stopped me from casually reading steadily through the verses. She said in Luke 1:28 -

"I AM THE LORD'S SERVANT."

And then she said "May it be to me as you have said." I know I have read that story like a zillion times. Everyone has pretty much. But this time it feels like God read it outloud to me because I kind of got chills.

Mary is looking at her sovereign God in the face and saying, Okay. I know that you ordain my life and all my days and this is what you have decided for me, and I am your servant, so I accept what you have for me and I will do it. It is just such a crazy amazing response to God! It immediately made me look at my life, jot down one liners of little things that are hard or overwelming or seemingly impossible in my life that he has allowed into the responsibility of my hands and then after each one I wrote in response "I am the Lord's servant."

I have three children under age three...
I AM THE LORD'S SERVANT.
I don't really have any free time to myself but...
I AM THE LORD'S SERVANT.
I am a stay at home mom, which doesn't get much glory but...
I AM THE LORD'S SERVANT.
It is very difficult to have good character with the relational stress I am under but...
I AM THE LORD'S SERVANT.
I am tempted to only be graceful and kind when it is returned to me but...
I AM THE LORD'S SERVANT.

My list could go on with a hundred things. I tend to make so much of my life about what works for me or what is beneficial to me, but when it comes down to it, I am the Lord's servant. That is my first duty. And not out with rolled eyes and dragging feet or out of obligation. I GET to be the Lord's servant. I get to know him and be known by him, which is the greatest relationship of all. Words can't do justice to what that means to me.

A little bit later in the chapter after Mary visits Elizabeth, there is a song that starts off, "Mary said:". Yes just those two words stopped me. In response to all of this news, the pregnancy, the sharing of news with Elizabeth, the probable ridicule from some of the people in her life, Mary SPOKE. She had a SONG on her lips. And her words were praise and glory to the Lord.

I was telling Jason this today on our date and was relating it to our lives and he said, "I wonder what people would say our song is for our lives right now." When people ask how we are doing or when they see our kids and say silly things like, "Wow, you have your hands full," what do we say? What is our song that we chant? Do we say things like, "Yeah it's wild, I'm hanging on" or do we use our words, the song of our lives, to reflect praise to the God that gave US life and our children life and brought into existence this beautiful family that we get to love and raise and enjoy for years and years to come? What do we say?

What is the song on your lips that you sing about your life? I'll have to watch and think about my own. I don't want my song to be a series of complaints and disdainful comments about the precious blessings in my lives. I want to have a song. Lord put it on my lips. Let me sing it for you. My one request is that it not be insincere, but full of truth in my heart as I say it. When I think about my life and what you have done I want to also say,

"My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant."