Friday, March 5, 2010

Blogging on blogging

I mostly don't have good ideas. It's true. Particularly when it comes to creativity, I kind of want to cry if I have to create something from scratch. I still remember my high school art teacher asking us to mostly do projects that were thought up by us and I would just sit there with a blank page...for class after class. It was awful. And then I would finally, with like eight teeth pulled out onto the table, create something SO not me that I wouldn't even want to look at by the time I finished it. It didn't grow me at all. Instead of giving me freedom, I just felt trapped. This is because I am mostly a type C personality. When I see a good idea I just want to wrap myself around it and be mentored by it and study it and learn all about it.

Some of you who really love me and don't want me to be self-depracating right now will say, "But Kelly! You are a creative writer!" (I can hear your voices and I appreciate your generosity). Well, let's analyze that. No, I like to write about TRUE things. Things I can observe in my head, things that have already happened, things I am learning, things that are happening to YOU. See? No creativity ;). It's already out there and I am merely putting it into typed words. Yes, how I say it does end up being "Kelly-esque" but ask me to write a fiction short story and I will freeze up and start sweating and be mad at you for expecting that nonsense from me. Believe me, I took that class. Didn't go well.

What am I saying here. Well, I am a bit off topic! What I was actually thinking about when I sat down was that everyone in the blogging world seems to have signature things that they write about and for a while here I think I am going to experiment with that. You know, writing about certain kinds of things on certain days and that sort of thing. That seems to be the trend and here I go "C" on myself and decide that maybe that would focus me to write about certain things.

By the way, this blog is kind of written to myself as like self talk through what I'd like to do, so if you're still reading, I'm happy to have you, but I apologize if it doesn't seem like I am really paying attention to you...

I kind of tried this before when I would title my posts "She Speaks" for things written mainly about being a woman and "Mama Speaks" about the obvious and on and on. Because I do like to write about Jesus, being a woman, being a mom, being a wife, etc. Usually my blogs center around these things, so I know I will keep writing about these as they come up.

I think the only thing about my blog, as I write about these things is that they always seem so SERIOUS to some people, maybe a lot of people. Like I know some people think I like Jesus too much. I do like Him a ton, but there's never too much of Jesus, and I only plan on liking Him more. And maybe others think my blog is too HEAVY. Some of you still reading are like Yeah, she needs to lighten up. Probably. But I probably won't. I kind of stay in the deep end of the pool down on the bottom with scuba gear. I don't surface very often and when I do I make faces at everyone like, What is this world all about? I'm going back down :). Some of my friends live down there too, so don't worry, I'm not completely alone.

But outside of scrunched eyebrow world, I'm totally skipping out on two things I'd like to write on a little more that maybe are a little easier to chew up and swallow and don't give everyone indigestion :). I really like WRITING in general and I was thinking that maybe once a week I'd post a little paragraph of some good writing. (Good idea?). I loved it today when I was sitting in the doctor's office reading Cold Tangerines and I kept laughing outloud at Shauna like she was entertaining me in the waiting room. I actually decided to make something from her book my first post on writing clips. There's one problem with posting writing. As Jason well knows, when I want to read, I take like ten minutes getting all cozy with a blanket tucked around my feet, pillows in perfect position, drink handy, pen in hand (because I even mark up for-fun books) and I read for one minute before I fall asleep. So that might be the main problem is that I might quote the same book for....six months. :)

The other one is just things LIGHT HEARTED. Just little stories (true ones of course) and tidbits and life observations that don't have to come full circle or fit into some kind of theological frame or point back to Jesus. Because I like to write like that usually. I mean light hearted like what kind of napkins are on my island or what I'm doing to get healthier, etc. (Good idea?).

So what do you think about me coming up for air in the shallow end of the pool sometimes? Does that work for Small Belle Speaks?

9 comments:

Annie said...

I like you at the deep end of the pool, I think we both like to be there a lot, but I'm excited to read your "shallower" stuff too. Love you lady.

Anonymous said...

hmmm -- i say that whatever you do, don't be contrived. your only lightheartedness comes from Him, when fruit is produced, ya know? otherwise, if it is your oxygen to discern, exhort, point out, teach, and be set apart in your thoughts -- then you should write that!

i find myself always being too "heavy" too, and ironically, when i'm most in love with him, i can become light-footed again.

this sounds nutsy. sorry.

Jessi said...

let's talk about this in person b/c I have way too many thoughts on this. My first one is - who in the world said you like Jesus too much? If I were you, I'd want to kiss them and kick them all at once.

leta flowers said...

Okay I'm guilty, I love the light- hearted stuff, mainly because i feel like I am in the room having a funny conversation with you when you write like that! And I miss you and I love to hear about the everyday things that happen in your life. But, I love the way you think when you think deeply, even though I am not the same as you. It teaches me. I like that God made you the way you are!

Kara said...

Your blog is what I go to for some "meat". If that makes sense.

Here's my 2 cents: Do what makes you happy darling. That's all that matters.

Anonymous said...

Surface with me! Post some silly pictures of your family or blog about shoes... Just once in a while. It's okay to be a little less intentional sometimes. Like to post something and then wonder why in the world you just put that out there for the whole world to read. Do you remember my silly virtual makeover post from like 18 months ago? More than 500 people have read that. I don't think I even know 500 people! More than 3,000 people have read me trying to figure out decorating the playroom.

All I figure is that if people dig a little deeper, they might be searching for a new haircut but end up hearing about Jesus. So you can be surface-y and intentional too...just be missionally surafcy. Ok, time for bed...

kellycowan said...

thanks for the feedback :). Mom: i knooooow. you need more stories. i should also just call you more :). sara you had me laughing there. missionally surfacy. nice wording but it sounds like it was bedtime so makes it cuter :). but that's an interesting point about looking for a haircut and finding jesus. cool. y i will keep thinking about it. as things come. i know for sure the eyebrow crunching won't stop - my brain just goes that way.

kalle said...

I preface this comment by saying that I love your deep thoughts and intentional personality. You have taught me very much in our 15 years of friendship. But I love, love, love to hear you laugh and be joyful and playful. love it. I have so many memories of this growing up. So I will be looking forward to your fun, surfacey tidbits on here now.

casey said...

i love both. but i find myself really interested in your everyday life! i was going to ask you one day to write "a day in the life at the cowans'" but then you wrote this fantastic post about taking the kids to ths post office, etc so i got a little taste. i, too, look forward to anything you write :) i am strengthened by your serious writing and have a blast with the other