Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Broken Leg

I was scurrying out the door to go on this writing night when Grace came toddling up and got all up in my space to present her request.

“Mommy, can you pray for Tanah? She’s sick.” Oh precious. So I stopped to pray for Kanah’s broken leg outloud, that the Lord would heal her body so she could walk again.

Kanah heard me from the other room and said, “I am going to walk again,” which of course Grace repeated immediately, because she always does.

“Yes. You’re going to walk again! You know why?” Little Grace’s expectant face looked straight up into mine from underneath me, little braided bangs tucked up into her bun pulled back. Sweet face. “Do you know that God made your body so that it fixes itself?” I asked her, letting the wonder come into my own face. “Kanah’s leg is broken but God made her a body that would fix itself so her leg could get better!”

Grace thought that was hilarious so she let out an adorable giggle and said, “God is so funny!”

I am realizing that you really know what in the world you believe as you live out each moment of your relationships. Do I really think that God made my body? That he creatively spoke my body into being and formed it so that it miraculously has the capability to heal itself, as much as it is capable now in my "fallen" state? I do. With all my heart. And I want my little ones to cast their belief upon that too.

I really really want my children to understand that Jesus is God and He is real and loves them and is pursuing them daily. So if I really believe this and want this, then the truth of who God is is going to permeate my days and my words and my behaviors and my carefully discerned moments to point to the divine in our simple lives.

As I help them confess their sin to one another. As I help them forgive each other. As we memorize Scripture by doing sign language. As we pray toddler prayers (very briefly) for those who are sick and hurting. As we are tempted and we stop to ask the Lord to help us in our temptation and to strengthen us to obey. As I sin and stop to ask for their forgiveness, even though that’s foreign to the adult world. As we see sadness along our way in the car and we stop to pray. As we sing silly God songs. As we dance in the kitchen, praising the Lord. As I speak to my husband, with the hope to demonstrate to my children that I respect him and love him. As I kneel by their side to serve them with the humility that only Christ can give. As my daughter asks me to pray for her sister’s broken leg.

If I really have known the Lord’s love and hope for that for others, then I will be watching for those discerned moments in Starbucks and with my check out employee at Fred Meyer and with other little children in our neighborhood. I will see them, really see them, see their hearts, and as we are talking, talking, chattering about what a great sale they had on baby food today…what I need to hear above the chatter is what the Lord is saying to them. What is he saying? Does he want to use a moment like my three year olds wondering about a broken leg to teach them something phenomenal about who He is? Do I hear what he has to say? Am I listening and am I willing to say more than “Yes, honey her leg will get better” or “Yeah, great sale on that green bean baby food, wow, yeah” or “Grande dark cherry mocha please”?

And I guess I kind of seem to just be talking about evangelism. But that’s not where this ends.

I think the Christian community talks a lot about evangelism and how to talk to non-believers and some of us seem to be in tune with all of that but we can really really royally MISS IT when it comes to discerning the God moments with His own people who already know him. When I’m listening to a believer in Christ, am I listening to what God might have for me to say to them? Am I thinking about Scripture for them? Am I thinking about how to respond? Am I being compassionate like Christ or listening like a frozen audience. Is this a moment to teach…correct…train…rebuke…encourage…be compassionate…pray…carry a burden…cry…embrace…or maybe serve?

How are we missing it? If the gospel is real, if Jesus really gave his life for us and is walking with us daily, then what might he have for us to be and do and say for each other? Do we see that this gospel is real…from each other?

I am just praying, hoping, pleading that God makes my life look like this. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but it’s not just for me personally. It’s to give away. And away. And away. I am not just hoarding up all of his goodness and blessing and truth. It’s to give away. And I just pray with all my might, now in this very moment, that he will help me keep giving it away. Because sometimes I see the moments but lots of times I miss them or I pass them by.

I just pray that as my children view more and more of life alongside of me, growing taller and taller, and their little hands getting fuller and fuller in my grasp, that I will carefully…discern…the compelling…Spirit….of…the…Lord for them. Help me hear you Father. I am yours to use.

2 comments:

Jessi said...

great word. I think I'll read this again at naptime:)

jasonbradley said...

Love your heart darling. Beautiful.