She Speaks: My Thing

I've been a little silly on my evening outings with friends lately. Put my kids in bed and get me in a room full of women and I get a little naturally tipsy, no alcohol necessary.

Most recently I was out for an evening baby shower for a lovely, glowing pregnant friend of mine. The beauty who hosted it loves to paint and as I went from living room to kitchen to bedroom, she had wall after wall decorated with her own paintings. That was definitely her "thing." Painting. I thought it was sweet how she could make her whole home beautiful by her very own hand. I went over at some point to grab an appetizer and was admiring all the cooking another friend had done to make the night special. I was scared to pick them up they were so cutely done. In fact, I did end up dropping one as I picked it up too timidly. *Sigh*. Cooking is definitely her thing and thankfully she's moving in with me for five weeks soon ;). You know who you are. Anyhow, above each little treat on the table was a cute little tag with a description of the food underneath a personalized design for the shower. My friend who made them would like to do designs for every aspect of parties like this, from tags to invites to thank you notes. She's good at it and it is quickly becoming her "thing".

So you see a little pattern forming, right? I got to joking with some of my friends at the party, as I admired all the handiwork. And even as we joked, I realized every single person I was talking with that night had a noteworthy signature "thing" that everyone knows they are good at. Personal training, sewing, photography, homemaking, you name it. My silliness at this point all became directed at how hilarious I found it to be that literally everyone's "thing" was obvious except for mine. Especially as shower gift after shower gift unveiled more gifts and talents of each woman in the room. (My gift incidentally was $ towards the group gift). Thankfully, with a lot of sarcastism, I enjoyed letting my jaw drop each time, each "thing" topping the next in awe and excellence.

When in laughter I pressed my friends for what could possibly be my "thing", they finally declared one for me. Scrapbooking. NO. That is stupid. Okay then, Legacy. "Legacy?" you ask. I asked too. Because I like do things that point to legacy - scrapbook, take pictures, journal, teach, write, and create traditions and memories for our family. In and of themselves, these things are not "wow" and unique but altogether they are certainly an expression of the deepest places in me. I haven't been able to dismiss this label since then and Jason confirmed it as well when I got home.

So there it is! I have a "thing"!

Today I was trying to figure out what it is that got to me, underneath all of the joking around about it all. I mean, it was funny. But also there was a heart issue going on in me. I do want my life to be special. I want to stand out and do big and wonderful and noteworthy and awe inspiring things. But is this okay? What's that all about anyway? Isn't that me trying to "find" life when the Bible says that whoever wants to find life must lose it? This means that I have to let go of all I'm wanting in order to find what true life looks like in the eyes of God. I think even Christians, for sure, get very much caught up in being on top, in doing big incredible things and we order and arrange and elevate what we think is GREAT. We all want to be great.

There's a story in Matthew 20 where the mother of two of the disciples comes up to Jesus and basically wants to know if they will be greatest in heaven. Reading it, I'm sure we're all like, Geez. That was bold...and ridiculous. I can't believe she asked that. But basically she's saying, Hey my sons are great right? And I think we all kind of want other people and also Jesus to say that about us.

I mean, when I am jealous that other people have "things" or envy that they do xyz amazingly, I am that mother of the sons of Zebedee coming up to Jesus saying, Hey can you make say that I'm the greatest one?

But here's how amazing Jesus is. Check out his thoughts a few verses later in Matt 20:25-28 "But Jesus called them to him and said, 'You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. IT SHALL NOT BE SO AMONG YOU. BUT WHOEVER WOULD BE GREAT AMONG YOU MUST BE YOUR SERVANT, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Wooow. I was randomly letting my mind wander around today and thought 'hey i might write about the whole "my thing" idea i was thinking about at the shower' and then i sat down to read the Bible and journal and was reminded of this Scripture and it just all came together. This is what Jesus has to say about greatness.

Do I want to be great? Do I want to be first? Then although it sounds wildly crazy and impossibly ridiculous...the way to greatness is humilty and laying down my life to be THE LEAST OF THESE. Jesus, you defy everything I know in this world. You are so OTHER that I barely know how to wrap my mind around your truth, though when I encounter it like this, my Spirit declares THIS IS SO TRUE AND I AM IN AWE.

To me, Jesus declares "Be not jealous. Do not seek to be above. To compete. To top. Lay down your life, becoming the least of these. Serve. Become a slave for the benefit of others. And this will be your greatness."

My mind is blowing. And yet my Spirit is rejoicing and soaring. With or without a "thing", I run in the path of your truths for you have set my heart free.