She Speaks: Too much broccoli, more prayer

So it turns out that there's always something difficult going on for everybody. (Boy, will this be a bummer post, you're thinking. Well maybe not...)

Rocks hit our windshields. Traffic takes up our days. All our manmade stuff breaks. Even our God made stuff, like our gardens, get weeds and grow knarly and out of control. Our bodies and other people's bodies always have breakdowns going on, whether temporary like the flu, or ongoing like lupus or heart disease.

And then there's the bigger stuff that is kind of just continual. The jobs we were relieved to get or be promoted to get all wacky with discontent or demotions or a quirky co-worker or disillusionment with purpose in general. More serious disease or illness that weakens the body over time and steals life from not just one person but all who want that person to stay around to enjoy life with. Then there's the below the surface, hard to brush off, truth that every single relationship we are in is a good dose of hard work, whether it's simple forgiveness that they used an off tone or more devastating messes that consume every ounce of existance between two people.

I'm not even going to get into the worldwide crises of hunger, abortion, rape, genocide, disease, torment, abuse, slavery, or tyranny.

We are consumed with brokenness. Agreed? It's everywhere. If it's not for you, then somehow you must be playing that hop scotch game of life, avoiding the most dangerous squares, even though all of us at some point or on some days is inevitably going to be just that.

FYI. My gift is discernment. I'm doomed to write like this, though if you can make it to the end, there's always LIGHT. Can't help it ;). It's a gift, if you're willing to see it that way.

So on to my processing.

I had a friend over recently who is going through quite a lot. I actually admire her going through it. A lot of people stuff the kinds of things she is mentally and emotionally navigating and I know she'll come out on the other side of this or even just moment by moment in LIGHT instead of darkness.

My question for her was this: How do you live? How do you continue with life even though this difficult thing is consuming for you, understandably? How do you keep it from becoming an idol?

I ask for two reasons. One, I just think it is hard to function when incredibly hard things are happening. But two, even the things we hate, abhore, or want to resist with an outstretched arm can become our idols: our obsessions and ultimately what we "worship" b/c we think about them all the time and give all of our thoughts and efforts toward them.

I like what she said she'd learned. You get 20 minutes a day to process outloud. It's too hard to not talk about it so you must. But twenty minutes is enough to acknowledge it, work through a piece of it and then let it go again.

And to that, we added prayer. "Let it go" is a joke, right? I mean if it's really pain. If it's really sorrow. If it's really depressing. Then "letting it go" sounds kind of ridiculous. I mean, most of us are violently, wildly shaking and tossing our arms about trying to get this "thing" that is so difficult to un-stick on us, so just "letting it go" doesn't even seem like an option.

But then there is prayer.

If prayer is a piece to this puzzle, then this step of processing might just possibly bring a bit of freedom. Just this second as I am writing this I paused to try to think how to possibly sum up and capture what benefits to prayer there are when it comes to being able to let something go. And immediately came to mind a verse I just read the other day super randomly, maybe just possibly for this moment now.

Psalm 68:19 "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens."

I think that might be one of the most beautiful pictures of God that I can imagine. The other night at community group (you know who you are!) the husband of my sweet very pregnant friend picked up their toddler and then she went to get the pack n play and he insisted on carrying that too. On Sundays at church, Jason almost always makes it a service to me to lug the kids around so it's easier for me to mingle with friends and so that he can keep a close eye on them. Even in little ways, when someone carrys our burdens, it is such a demonstration of love and we feel such gratitude and freedom for it. So in some spiritual, emotional and maybe sometimes physical sense this verse is suppose to relieve us as it becomes a reality. This verse says that is what he does. Do I have an exact explanation of what that means or feels like? No. But I bet you he longs to demonstrate that to each of us and to ask him to show us personally what that means and should be like for us.

Also, as far as what our little family is going through personally with trials, it is actually a pure waste sometimes how much we talk about things and resist "letting them go" or relinquishing them through prayer. Sometimes we can talk and talk and just circle like vultures but after some time (well maybe after 20 minutes!) we just are kind of over indulging. We're idolizing. Something we say we don't like we find ourselves obsessing over and it doesn't make sense. We're eating our broccoli (or whatever food you don't like). Then another helping. Then another. Then another. And soon we're stuffed with broccoli and want to throw up. (I happen to like broccoli but Jason would definitely be the one throwing up after one bite in this! He he).

So Jason and I's resolve and conviction lately is this: To pray. To not think too much of our chatterboxing that we can solve everything by talking or dialouging or counseling till our brains bleed. We need to encourage more by praying more. And figure things out more by praying more. And in this not only am I putting the burden back where it needs to be (on Jesus' shoulders) but I am letting my heart be transformed to the place it needs to be at the same time. So much happens in prayer. Aligning our heart with God. Talking it out with him. Giving up. Taking on the right heart. Letting him speak. Understanding. Growing. Confessing. Thankfulness for gospel. Trusting. Loving. Being loved. Letting gooooooo.

Less broccoli servings. More praying. Meal done.