Exposed. Now What?

I used to like poetry. I am sure I still would. It’s just that my plate is kind of full and I am doing all I can do read my Bible so maybe poetry will come back around again in my 40’s. But in my teens and early to mid twenties I really did love poetry and read it quite a bit. My favorite poem by far is probably one that would seem as cliché as Canon D does to a musician, but I don’t care. It’s my favorite :). It’s the Love Story of J Alfred Prufrock:

(a selection)
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
[They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!"]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
[They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!"]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:--
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all--
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

He’s got this great picture going on of being at a party and he can’t escape the eyes of his friends and strangers, which pin him to the wall and there he is for all to see and look upon. He describes exposure so memorably that though I have probably not picked up that poem in maybe ten years (to my dismay!), I still have an emotional, familiar response to his writing. It defines through mental picture the exact reason we can’t comprehend why exposure would be a good thing for us. Just like it wouldn’t be a good thing for our clothes to fall off in the middle of church. Yep. That’d be embarrassing.

Romans 12:1 says not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. 1 Corinthians 2:16 says that we have been given the mind of Christ. And just verses earlier it declares that we have been given the Spirit who is from God, so that we might understand the things freely given to us by God. So we can think differently because of Jesus. What might seem unsensible before becomes wise. What might seem foolish before, like the thought of exposing our hearts, becomes godly and good.

So what does the Lord say about exposure? I will jot down again the verse I used in my last post as I was talking about women exposing their hearts at our Mars Hill women’s retreat

Ephesians 5:7-14 “Therefore do not become partners with them (‘the sons of disobedience’); for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. ake no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but INSTEAD EXPOSE THEM. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O Sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’”

At first it looks like that whole darkness thing is totally a past thing. You’re in the light. Don’t go hang out with those shameful people and don’t take part in all that sin. But then he gives US a direct word about dark deeds: EXPOSE THEM. So I can only assume the Lord is saying that we still, in our own ways and choices and thoughts and deeds take part in “unfruitful works of darkness.” In our identity, we are light. But somehow we’re still tempted by the darkness and we run back into it. James puts it this way, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” (James 1:14-15). We are lured and enticed by our own desires of the flesh. We do not do what we want to do. And out of no where we’ve eaten the apple all over again and it’s juice runs down our faces. So Ephesians is saying, Hey Christians! Sweet believers in the Light! Don’t hide those apples. Pull them out from behind your backs and throw them into the light, emptying your open hands to a Savior who wants to fill your cupped hands with good things from Him.

One of my favorite verses about exposure is Hebrews 4:13 because whether or not we want to be a part of that exposure, this verse states a reality about what is already true about you before the Lord, whether you’re into it or not, whether you fear it or not, whether you give in to it or not. “And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Our current state = exposed. To whom? God. Every moment of our day. Every thought in our mind. Every work of our hands. Every intent, hope, daydream, conversation, and pursuit. Exposed already.

But although this should humble us, it should not devastate us. Because of Jesus. And only because of Him. 1 John 1:1 “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” The verses before that basically say – don’t be a liar and say that you have no sin. Don’t make God out to be a liar, because he says that we are sinners, so just confess that you are. And as you confess, there is not fear. The exposure is covered by Jesus’ blood. It’s in his blood that we can rest without shame, fear, intimidation, regret, comparison of sin, or with the tendency to downplay what we have done. We can expose what we have done in all it’s ugly because…

1. It’s already exposed anyway.
2. And it’s already been taken care of. We just have to cast our faith on that.

So that should be the tough part because we should care way more what God sees in us than what other Christians see in us. But we care a whole heck of a lot what other people see. So the rougher part ends up being confessing our sins before others. And there’s certainly a legitimate side to this. People are not Jesus so they do not respond in perfect holiness to our sin. Jesus is faithful to us and justifies us and cleanses us from our sin. And our brothers and sisters’ jobs are to point us to the cross, the truth in the Word of God, and to extend grace and restoration and counsel and encouragement and forgiveness – whatever is Biblically appropriate for that circumstance.

In my last post I talked about how women came on our church’s women’s retreat and at the end of the weekend there was an open mic and many, many women got up and shared things either that they had learned or very very specific sin struggles in their hearts. The speakers, too, shared not just their stories, but their e-n-t-i-r-e story. Women who have thrust their identities upon the blood of Christ can do this. They can show every corner of their lives and walk away from that dialogue free because it doesn’t matter what the other person’s response is.

Ideally we would all respond perfectly, giving glory to Christ for saving this person, for the goodness of his forgiveness, for the beauty of the freedom this person now walks in, and the wonder of the kind of gospel community God calls us to live in. This is ideal. This is what happens when we are all walking in the Spirit, listening with grace, and walking in grace in our own hearts.

But this is not what we are to to trust in. What we trust in is the convictions of the Holy Spirit. If the Lord compels me to be vulnerable with my heart or story or a confession, I cannot put my hope in a response. I respond to the Spirit and I rest in my identity in Jesus, with full knowledge that because we are all being renewed, I am not promised a Christlike response. I find that response from a Father in Heaven, who is pleased with me. And that is where I place my security.

I came to my accountability group a few months ago with a sin that I wasn’t at all proud of. I dreaded group and didn’t want to confess. What’s interesting is that these three ladies love Jesus very much and I knew that in word they would extend grace to me and that they would encourage me to walk in the freedom of forgiveness. I knew this. But I also know myself. And I know that even though my heart’s delight is in the GRACE of God, that at times I know I will think I am better. I will hear someone confess a sin and will sinfully respond in my heart with, “Wo. That’s crazy. Can’t believe she did that.” And within about a millisecond the good Holy Spirit will pierce my heart with conviction and, Lord willing in that moment, I will respond with “Forgive me Lord.” Because I know this judgement about myself, I can guess that others, because we are not Jesus and we have a flesh, will struggle to be Christlike in our response, even if that’s what we desire. We are not Jesus but he makes us more and more like him, thank goodness.

So on the way to my accountability group that day I remember hearing the Lord say, Even if they have even the littlest judgment in their hearts that you don’t even know about, I am going to free you from that. You are under no condemnation because of me. And I am going to give you the ability to confess without the need for perfection from them. What kind of freedom is that? It’s crazy beautiful.

Psalm 32 is one of my favorite pieces of Scripture about what confession is supposed to be about and so let’s end with verse 7 to be our encouragement on exposure. And notice the beautiful irony in that as we are laid bare before the Lord, we are hidden in Him and found in Him. And HE comes around us with SHOUTS of His deliverance. Amen.

“You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”